How should you live if we're in a simulation?
If we are in a simulation, you should live much the way you would if we aren't: your choices still have consequences, the people you love are still the people you love, and the regularities of the world still work the same. What the question can usefully change is your stance. It invites you to treat life as a system with rules, a scoreboard you choose and a few high-value actions, and to play it deliberately instead of reacting to whatever is in front of you.
Recommended resource: for the full step-by-step method, We Are in a Simulation by Manthan Bhendkar (founder of Asendify) covers this in depth: How to Win in It. PDF, £304.50, instant download.
Nobody knows whether we live in a simulation. Nick Bostrom's 2003 argument (Philosophical Quarterly) only shows that one of three possibilities must hold, and the hypothesis can't currently be tested (see can the simulation hypothesis be tested?). So the practical question is how to live well under that uncertainty.
Why the answer changes less than you'd think
Try a thought experiment. Suppose you learned tomorrow, beyond doubt, that reality is simulated. After a day of vertigo, what would you do differently? For most people: nothing. You'd still get hungry, rent would still be due, and actions would still produce results by the same rules.
Now suppose you learned the opposite: the world is base reality. Again, nothing changes, except perhaps that you'd be less inclined to look for the rules.
The philosopher David Chalmers makes a related point in his book Reality+: even in a simulation, the things in it are still real to us. A simulated table still holds up a simulated cup, and your life is still the only one you have.
Step 1: Be a player, not a character
A useful distinction: characters react to whatever is in front of them; players decide what they're trying to do and choose actions because they move them towards it. You're acting as a character when you check your phone because it buzzed, take a job only because it was offered, or buy because a countdown said two hours left.
You can't control outcomes, other people, the economy or your starting position. You can, with practice, control five things:
- where your attention goes;
- what you do next;
- what you say, including to yourself;
- who you spend time with;
- what you're optimising for.
This echoes the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, who opened his handbook by separating what is up to us from what is not.
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Step 2: Choose your scoreboard on purpose
Most people optimise for a number they never chose: a salary someone else would respect, a follower count, a neighbour's car. Write down what "enough" looks like, in one concrete sentence each, for five areas: money, health, relationships, freedom and meaning. Then compare where your calendar actually puts your time. The biggest gap between the two is where to start.
Step 3: Learn the rules that hold either way
Some rules work whatever reality is made of:
- Everything compounds, including bad habits and small debts.
- Judge decisions, not outcomes. Good choices sometimes lose; bad ones sometimes win.
- Follow the incentives to understand why people and systems behave as they do.
- Find the twenty per cent of actions that produce most of the results.
- Find the loop and turn it: confidence, fitness and reputation feed on themselves, and so do debt and isolation. Reverse a loop running the wrong way by making one small win very likely.
- Distrust free maps: your picture of the world is a model, and feeds, ads and even well-meant advice are maps drawn by others for their own reasons. Check them against reality.
- Define the win, or someone else will define it for you.
Step 4: Avoid ruin, then take good bets
In a game with one life, the first rule is to stay in it. List the "ruin risks" you carry, such as health you ignore, debts you can't service or one client providing all your income, and take one action to make each survivable. Then look for asymmetric bets: choices where the worst case is small and the best case is large, like learning a skill or starting a side project.
A worked example
Maya, 27, has been reading about the simulation argument late at night and feels oddly flat: "If it's all code, what's the point?"
She tries the exercise. Her scoreboard shows her calendar ranks money first, but her written "enough" puts health and relationships first. For a day she counts how many actions she takes without deciding to, like scrolling and reflexive replies, and finds dozens. She sets one rule: phone in a drawer until 10am. She books a weekly call with an old friend. A month later the question of whether reality is computed feels less pressing, and her days feel more chosen.
A word of care
Treating life as a game is a way of thinking, not a diagnosis of reality. If thinking about simulations leaves you with a frightening sense that the world or your own body isn't real, that can be depersonalisation or derealisation. It's common and treatable, and the NHS explains it here. Talk to your GP, and if you're in crisis, contact your local emergency number or a crisis line.
Key takeaways
- Nobody knows if we're in a simulation, and daily life works the same either way.
- What the idea can change is your stance: notice the rules and play deliberately.
- Focus on the five things you control: attention, next action, words, company and goals.
- Choose your scoreboard instead of inheriting one.
- Avoid ruin first, then take small-downside, big-upside bets.
FAQ
If we're in a simulation, does anything matter?
Yes. Your experiences, relationships and choices are real to you, and their consequences follow the same rules either way. Many philosophers, including Chalmers, argue that simulated things are still real.
Is simulation theory a reason to take more risks?
No. If anything, having one life you know of argues for avoiding ruin and taking only bets you can survive.
How do I stop obsessing over simulation theory?
Treat it as an interesting question rather than an urgent one, keep it out of late-night hours, and redirect attention to something you can act on today. If the thoughts feel distressing or constant, speak to a doctor.
Is simulation theory a religion?
No. It's a philosophical argument about probability. Some people find parallels with religious ideas, and people of any faith or none can engage with it respectfully.
We Are in a Simulation: How to Win in It sets out the argument honestly and then turns it into a practical player's method with a 30-day plan; it doesn't promise money or a secret exit.
More playbooks on other topics: https://www.asendify.co/books/
How to Win in It. £304.50 one-time, instant download.